Monthly Archives: March 2013
From the teaser of the teaser, straight to the international trailer of The Wolverine
Well at least they went ahead and gave us the rest after giving us a 20 second random part of the trailer the other day. Here it is, the full-blown international trailer for The Wolverine.
Fuck it, I’m in. TAKE MY MONEY ALREADY. Looks like they’re giving a bit of grit back to Wolvie. Granted, there definitely looks to be some cheese dusted over the top of the thing as if it were a delicious pasta dinner. I mean, the old, claws out, Raiden power dive across the train top and dirt biking Ninja dudes is a little weird but… whatever. The guy’s bones are made of a fictitious indestructible metal. Furthermore, it’s a goddamned comic book movie. Of course I can tolerate some liberties.
Also, Wolverine claws clashing with Samurai swords. Yep, I’ll have a look
Love, your idiot pal,
-Dave
PS.
Wait a second… dirt biking Ninjas is an awesome concept!
Attack of the CG peeeeoooople
So if you’re like me and read the incredible Max Brooks novel World War Z, you definitely let loose a little fist pump and below the breath, “yes”, loose when you heard they were going to adapt it into a movie. The book was such a great look at society and culture in the event of a zombie apocalypse. It focused not so much on the horror aspects of a zombie outbreak, but ultimately what humanity would have to do to isolate and destroy the undead disease and further propagate human existence. Survival on a much broader scale as opposed to the typical ‘small group stuck somewhere’ story.
If you’re also like me, you were kind of let down by the first trailer that came out a couple of months ago . It was short, full of anarchy, and Brad Pitt’s long, golden locks but it didn’t really let on to what we could expect. I deemed the trailer inadequate for me to apply my opinion on the matter and therefore would wait until the defining, “trailer 2” that all films have. Well, that trailer has arrived and here it is.
I don’t know… it’s just, I feel like I’m always the negative Nancy when it comes to movies but this looks… weird. Right? I mean, Pitt looks good, the scale of the film and production value seem to all be in the right place. Hell, the political and military intrigue is all there too. So what’s my problem? Well apparently…
THE ZOMBIE DISEASE TURNS YOU INTO A COMPUTER GENERATED IMAGE
And not just a computer generated image, but a computer generated image that wants to amass with a million other computer generated images and attack anything that’s not a computer generated image. Maybe this is a metaphor for Hollywood’s outlook on movie FX in the last 20 or so years, but I can tell you right now that I am not a fan. There was another movie that did this in recent history if you’ll remember. It was called I Am Legend. It, much like World War Z, was a movie adaptation of an incredible book that I had read when I was younger. The producers are the movie seemed to just fleece off all of the vampire attributes that the baddies had and made them stark raving… video game models with big mouths and brown skin… or something. I wish I could have been there, when that studio exec leaned back after having shat that idea out onto the table while all his cohorts sat there and cheered him on. Me, just watching the celebration of the scariest attributes of the story getting fired out the window like contents of a piss pot in the 1700’s.
So, in the book, the disease is supposed to turn you into a zombie. A flesh craving, mortal wound wielding, hissing and growling zombie. But so far, in both trailers I’ve seen for the flick, I see running CG people. No blood, no terror, no nothing. Just giant ant piles of people running every which direction. How do we know that this disease doesn’t just turn you into a fitness nut that’s always trying to stay active. Now there’s a terrifying idea. Fat Americans seeking refuge from a horde of infected health nuts. Even if you CG’d them I’d at least be at home like, “Well this idea is already so unbelievable that I really don’t care if you CG’d them all. I mean where would you find that many fitness enthused Americans in one place?”
But I digress. I’ll see World War Z but I have a feeling it’s going to be one of those affairs that leaves me in my seat most of the movie with my arms crossed, mouth upturned in a slight frown with the occasional subtle shake of the head. I really look forward to reviewing this one.
If you feel differently about this flick however, let me know. I love movie discussions! There’s this whole “comment” thing here on The Bleed where you can be like, “You’re in idiot and here’s why…” or “I love you and want to have your evil genius babies”. Either way, speak up yo! This is ‘merica after all.
Love, your idiot pal,
-Dave
*Gasp*
Too… busy… to blog *rasp* day job is… demanding. Must… *cough cough* figure out how… to create…. CONTENT!
UPDAAAATES!!!
Hey dudes and gals,
Dave here and I wanted to dump a bunch of updates into the reservoir for everyone. A lot of little things have transpired since we first started this blog and I wanted to bring everyone up to speed. So if you’re wondering where things stand with our comic, Frank Enstein: Special Monsters Unit, or what Rich and I are up to, grab your cup and dip it into the trough of this updates post.
SPECIAL MONSTERS UNIT
Notice there’s no “Frank Enstein” at the front of the title anymore? That’s because it’s going to be removed! I’ve completed the script for the first run of the comic book series and after revising it a little, I felt like making Frank a title character would take the focus away from what I thought were some pretty great characters. Pharaoh for instance (Frank’s arch rival in the SMU and partner that’s forced upon him) took on a much better embodiment than I had initially intended and I started to like him far more than his original persona deserved. Rich and I started talking about it and we decided that in the future, it would be great to tell stories from the narrative of other detectives in the SMU. Hence, we came to the ultimate decision that Frank, while still being a huge character in the series, will not be the only front man/woman.
Think about it like this; Frank is our Wolverine. Wolvie’s a member of the X-Men (Pretty much the best one) and he’s never far from the main story but the comic isn’t named after him (and yes, to all you neck beards out there, huffing and puffing in your mom’s basement, I’ve read Wolverine and the X-Men. Relax. I’m just making a general point). So you can expect plenty of wise-ass comments from the green machine throughout the story, but you’ll be able to get know some of the other monsters behind the shield as new cases are added to the SMU crime log.
At this very moment, there is a pool of about 20 readers pouring over the scripts for Issues 1-5 (people that I can’t thank enough for helping). These issues make up the first SMU story arc. I wanted to get some feedback before I started on the final draft that will accompany Rich’s artwork when we start our publisher submission run. So far we’ve had a great reception and some really constructive feedback. Once we get enough notes and opinions, I’ll start the final draft and then my job on this first arc will be done!
As far as artwork goes, Rich is currently finishing up on page 3. There’s been some slight deliberation on the art direction and these first few pages have been more of a artistic trial run for him. There may be some changes with the first two pages in the coming weeks. Other than that, we plan on having some concept material in the next few months. Some good full blown shots of the SMU detectives, Black Rock City, and the monster criminals are what Rich is going to be churning out.
That’s pretty much it for Special Monsters Unit at the moment. We’re kind of at that point where we’re just slogging through the monotous parts of getting something like this going. Hopefully the most fun has yet to come though and we’ll be able to give you guys some more material soon. Until the, keep checking back here or on the SMU Facebook page.
DAVE CASWELL
I’m currently waiting for people to give me their feedback for the SMU script but it’s driving me nuts to stay idle, so I’ve been putting a good amount of effort into putting content on this blog and learning how to edit the site. I’ve also started working on a screenplay based on an old idea I had when I lived in a really nice house when I lived in Florida for college. The place was really big and well laid out. It was to the point where people would ask if our parents were home because the joint was so nice. The only thing that bugged me about it was that there were gaps between rooms that didn’t entirely add up to me. I started thinking how creepy it would be if there was a group of psychotic, gross looking, people that lived below and in the walls of that house, waiting for the opportune moment to strike out against us and harvest our organs and limbs.
So, Meet The Creepers (working title) will be the first horror movie screenplay I’ve put my steam into in awhile. To be completely honest, I’m pretty psyched to return to straight up, hardcore, horror.
Well those are all the updates I have for the moment. I didn’t update anything for Rich at the moment because I’m Dave Caswell, not Rich Smith (Scragglebeard, not Gingerbeard) and his updates usually come in the form of sweet artwork. I’ll let him do his thing.
Til next time, bleeders,
-Dave
There are music videos… and then there’s this nugget of excellence.
I saw this this morning and I had to re-post it here. It’s so awesome.
Music video for a band called Biting Elbows. The song is fittingly titled ‘Bad Motherfucker’. (And hey, the freeze frame for the video aint half bad…)
It’s called ‘Snow Cannibals: The Musical’. No? Okay how about ‘The Colony’.
For horror fans, these days, pickins are pretty slim.
Maybe I’m just too lazy to look into the depths of the void and see what terribly incredible schlock lurks down there, writhing in the darkness, waiting for someone to reach out and love it… but at least on a mainstream scale, let’s face it, good horror films are hard to find (That’s like 5 sentences in one I think). Especially if you’re someone like me who can be a little picky and prefer a dash of action in his horror stew (which sounds like it shouldn’t be eaten….ever). That’s why when I see a trailer like the one for this new flick, The Colony, the little kid inside of me starts getting surly and stamping around at 6am on that one glorious Saturday that your older self gets to sleep in (or something like that).
Watch first, then we’ll discuss.
This one hits a lot of major notes with me. Firs off, it’s a post apocalyptic setting. Ever since I put my innocent little eyes on the sound and fury of The Road Warrior as a child, I’ve been in love with post apocalyptic survival tales. It’s to the point where no matter how bad I know a certain PA movie is going to be… I’ll still watch it because there’s something about people wearing shredded clothing, carrying old beat up weapons, and scavenging through empty urban landscapes that makes me have to take two simultaneous puffs of my inhaler.
Even better is that they set it in a snowy wasteland. That already gives it so much more of a The Thing feel to it. Desolation, paranoia, loneliness, blended up with ice like good margarita? All factors that make for a great atmosphere to let horror elements breed. And then, they threw in one of the greatest elements a horror/sci-fi actioner could ever have.
This amazing son of a bitch.
Courtesy 20th Century Fox
Paxton is just the freshly ground pepper that has been applied to the top of this dish to make it ready to serve. While my cautious optimism is at a high, it still remains cautious. This movie has all the right elements of being great but it also has all the right elements of being shit. Really advanced, CGI camer movements make me instantly skeptical and all around nervous like a cat when someone makes a loud sound. Suddenly my faith in whatever I’m watching is immediately questioned. There are a few of those shots in here but I calm myself by realizing that movies of the apocalyptic magnitude cannot be made without CGI.
Overall, I’m pumped and I can’t wait to review this movie later down the line. Will I shred it or will I touch my movie fan boner over it, who knows?
Love, your idiot pal,
-Dave
Who has the best price on a Freddy Krueger replica glove?
Because given his primary targets… this makes a boat load of sense.
The day after St. Patricks Day – AKA ‘St. Douche Morsel Day’
So yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day and now that profuse amounts of corned beef have mummified my insides, I can finally comment on the holiday.
Or maybe everyone’s talked about St. Patrick’s day too much yesterday. Instead, let’s talk about the day after St. Patrick’s day or as I’ve re-dubbed it, ‘St. Douche Morsel Day’.
First off, I’ve formed a hypothesis that I plan on putting into a study for next year’s St. Patty’s Day. They hypothesis is that apparently alcohol targets the brain cells that contain knowledge on how to operate a motor vehicle before any other brain cells. Not only does booze completely render your ability to drive an automobile while you’re wasted nil, but apparently it will for the entirety of the next day as well. The roads this morning looked like scenes from the flick Independence Day when people try to escape the city (I only wish there had been aliens and that they had cleaned up I-95 just like this. It’s like all the green beer in the greater New York area and Fairfield county somehow turned bar patrons into wandering zombies who feel the need to get behind the wheel and just drive. Not to anywhere in particular. Just to get out there and wander around.
On top of that, I think 3/5 people called out sick today. If there’s one day that no one is going to believe you’re sick (Unless your name is Shawn because I believe you, but at the same time I have to work my dick off in your absence, thanks, Beardo) it’s the day immediately after St. Patrick’s Day. Of course you’re sick. YOU’VE HAD 15 GALLONS OF BEER AND 38lbs OF CORNED BEEF. I feel like the Irish in Ireland are sitting back like, “Damn America, yer fuggin crazy.” (read that in a stereotypical Irish accent).
Lastly, and most importantly, everyone’s just kind of a douche morsel today (hence the holiday name). Like they’re having a harder Monday than you are. Uh, hey, heads up, you pouting dick nugget, everyone’s having a shit morning. We all feel like we have a burlap sack filled with running chainsaws lodged in our gut and we all feel like we could sleep for the remainder of the winter (there’s only one other day that feels like that and it’s the day after the Superbowl… but I digress). On top of that, it’s a Monday. Maybe instead of acting like a bitch, you can pick your big boy or girl pants on and we can get this day tucked away so we never have to remember it again.
In retrospect this is kind of a Wah email but I feel like it needed to be said. I hope you had a great St. Patrick’s Day and I hope you’re ready to fight through the rest of St. Douche Morsel Day 2013.
Love, you’re idiot pal,
-Dave
The Bleed 